Mock-A-Meme 21

You know how you have those friends who come to mind in times of need? Someone to talk to, someone to help you out, someone to appreciate a really horrible meme… guess which one I qualify for.

In related news, I’ve got a buildup of memes that I need to snark at, so here we go.

Click here if you have no idea what Mock-A-Meme is and why in the world it’s on this blog.

Meme Cliff

This one-session Bible study was entitled, “How gravity can bring us into the presence of God.” It was not very popular.

Meme Plant Woman

She lists all these painful things, but it seems like she’s forgetting a couple of possibilities. I do appreciate that she’s streamlined her wardrobe to only one sock, which is obviously all she needs at this stage of growth.

Losing Beer Pong

Whose yelling at the beer pong table because she’s losing… is what? Don’t leave me hanging!

And this bit of advice specifically states that she’s losing. Not the ideal breeding partner, obviously. You know why? Well, memes tell us why!

Women

In other words, women are created solely to give birth and breastfeed babies. Don’t know what’s wrong with this generation, so busy encouraging women to do anything else! This is what keeps them unique among the standard type of humans, otherwise known as men.

Also, womanly uniqueness is best preserved if you’re young with flawless makeup and awesome hair.

So there you have it. Once again, memes show us the ideal woman. She’s that unique creature who:

  • Grows trees from her body
  • Yells at beer pong
  • Leaps off cliffs
  • Has babies and breastfeeds them

Not necessarily in that order. Guess you need to get busy, girl.

 

And I still have more memes for a future post! That should give you something to look forward to while you’re sprouting saplings.

 

Mock-A-Meme 20

Beautiful like me.jpg

Which is entirely inspiring to the rest of us who are not beautiful like her.

Million men.jpg

Seeing as I’m only beautiful like me, I’m willing to give this a shot. I don’t even need a million men to tell me. I’ll settle for, I don’t know, fifty? Okay go!

Oh, hang on, do I have to be in her particular state of undress for the occasion?

Taylor.jpgAnd you know who that princess is? Taylor Swift, who made her fortune singing lovelorn songs about men.

Also, in meme-world, there’s no such thing as a confident yet gracious woman. Either you’re a limp noodle or you’re a bitch. And either way, you’d best have a decent figure.

Worrying

So no need to worry about the fact that you’re sitting on an uneven pier, wearing only a towel. You probably won’t fall in till tomorrow.

Man Dream

Friend who sent meme: …And not do stupid stuff. Or at least not lose our balance while doing stupid stuff.

Me: I was trying to think of a comment to follow up yours, but yours just captures the moment so well.

Friend: Moment is right. That fleeting moment where you convinced yourself you are, in fact, the ultimate powerful great dreamer. And then your foot slips.

And in the hustle and bustle of the undreaming city below, nobody even hears your final, gravity-induced scream.

Me: I don’t think you’re going to be hired to write memes.

**

That finishes up my current supply of memes. Send me more, and I’ll mock ’em.

 

Mock-A-Meme 19: Undercuts

One of the most endearing qualities of the meme, especially ones about women’s empowerment, is that their pictures distract from, or sometimes completely undercut, their own message.

They almost always involve women in various states of undress.

I am, therefore, compelled to mock them.

Devil Says

But… she’s not up. It’s an epic takedown by origami paper cranes. “The birds of the air shall peck out your eyes… but, you know, budget cuts. We can afford only paper cranes to chew on your toenails.”

Bitterness

You could even find yourself mostly naked and caught in what looks like a tarp made of spider webs. Count your blessings!

Like Me

Because now I’m looking for my pants. Honey, where’s my pants?

Mama Glue

Heck, if I had been able to lie in a comfy bed with a happy baby and no other kids demanding my attention, I’d have totally rocked that “glue” thing too.

No pants

Nobody said you were weak. We just suggested you might want to sleep on one bed at the time. And nobody said you were giving up! We’re sure you’ll find your pants if you just keep looking.

**

>> Mock-A-Meme #20

For previous Mock-A-Memes, go here.

Mock-A-Meme 18

Turns out there are a lot of memes needing to be mocked, and I guess it’s up to me to do it.

But what is Mock-A-Meme, why is it on this page, and what happened to #’s 1-17?

Here’s the deal. About a year ago, I ran a regular series on another blog in which I would collect memes and make fun of them. It was like a big party every Monday. Or, you know, like a mildly amusing text from a friend.

Then The Fellowship took up most of my online energy, and I wrapped up the series.

Still, friends have continued to send me mockable memes. I went through my files today and found a significant backlog. It’s the holidays, I thought.  A time for frivolity, joy, and mocking stuff. (I made up that last part.)

I started a new post, only to discover that I’d uploaded all the pictures onto this blog instead of my other one. Faced with the prospect of moving all those files again via my slow netbook, I made a decision: Mock-A-Meme would work just fine on my author blog.

So here you go. Some good old-school Mock-A-Memes until I use up my current supply. Enjoy!

Falling Off Shirt

And honey, that even includes the person who stole your shirt and your bra and left you with only a resuable grocery bag to wear to the beach.

Dragon Scale Ring

You can tell she’s strong-minded because she’s wearing a dragon-scale ring, which is the universal symbol for “strong-minded woman.” Either that or “I have no need to bend my third finger.”

WomanWalkingAway

But walking away is hard to do, people. First you’ve got to get a dynamite figure, then you’ve got to buy a filmy white dress, and then you have to go to a beach and practice mincing. (And… is that an elf ear she’s got?)

Also, in meme-world, social conventions dictate that you have to bare one shoulder at the beach. It’s really embarrassing to show up fully dressed.

Brunette Friends

God will, of course, provide you with friends who are all your same age, height, and hair color.

Terrible decisions

She’s got enough terrible decisions going here to make an alphabetized set of books. But okay, I admit it. This one made me laugh.

**

Click here for Mock-A-Meme #19.

To read the previous 17 posts, I’ve collected them here.